Something has become increasingly more apparent, at least to my attention. There seems to be a lack of decorum for what are traditionally considered life-changing events. Weddings, graduations, and even funerals were once occasions demanding appropriate attire and proper manners. Now, it seems, they’ve been turned into hoedowns.
Now, before one of my loyal readers decides to read me the riot act about people being poor and not able to afford the right clothes, let me tell you about my grandparents. Both lived through the Great Depression, that dark time in American history where one out of every three men was out of work (a big deal since the men were the breadwinners of the family.) My grandmother and grandfather were both in their teens when soup lines, low stocks, and great dust storms dominated the U.S. But never, never at an important event would they have been seen in overalls, jean shorts, tank tops, or T-shirts. Each had something called their Sunday Best, what our generation refers to as court clothes. And they were living hand to mouth doing their best to help support their large families. And NEVER would they have been seen at an important occasion in their work clothes. Hell, if they had the occasion to come into town, they dressed up. It was okay to BE poor as long as you looked respectable.
Now it seems respectability has been thrown out the window even though people keep demanding their “props.” Well, I have news for you, to get proper respect one has to show a little sense and show up at life-changing events appropriately attire. Otherwise people may be led to believe you don’t give a damn about the person or people the event is centered around instead of the fact that they really don’t give a damn about themselves or what others think about them. That is, they don’t care until someone treats them differently than people that took the time to dress in a manner befitting the occasion.
I am the first to agree that judging someone’s character by what they wear is unfair. But there is an old saying, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” And if you don’t care what kind of impression you make on strangers you should be concerned that your impression may be important to the friends or family that the event may effect.
Take, for instance, my mother-in-law’s funeral. My brother-in-law and his family showed up in shorts and tank tops for the funeral. Might as well have walked in and said, “Fuck you all.” I mean khakis and a polo shirt would have done nicely. But no, he has to prove he was the biggest hick and bastard of the crowd. And a friend who dressed in nice, dark jeans and a sport coat was afraid HE had underdressed.
Of all the occasions demanding some somber decorum, a traditional funeral is it. To attend so horribly underdressed shows disrespect not only to the deceased but also to the mourners. Only if the deceased specifically desires everyone to dress casual should shorts be worn. So if it is your wishes, write it down. Otherwise, everyone will show up in bikinis. Well, some men might not mind.