I have got to stop watching daytime TV. Today on A&E, Inside Polygamy is being shown. Very informative and if you have any questions about both sides of the issue, I highly recommend it.
Being in a monogamist relationship, the thought of such a union is not one I consider prudent. First, what man in his right mind wants more than one mother-in-law? I’m not trying to be funny here, I’m serious. One seems like enough. Especially when you consider, in our society, mothers tend to gravitate toward their daughters as they grow older. There is a saying that a son’s a son until he takes a wife, a daughter’s a daughter her entire life. Now imagine not one but at least three mother-in-laws coming to live with their daughters when their husbands pass.
Secondly, the looks on the wives faces, while they are denying any strife or abuse in the marriage, speak a louder story. The story is that of someone who fears they have made a terrible mistake but is afraid to admit it. Perhaps they are more worried about punishment in the hereafter rather than happiness here. A lot of religions worldwide preach that happiness on this temporal plane is insignificant when compared to everlasting eternal happiness. I don’t follow that belief but I know it is not limited to any particular creed.
Third, while in reality it may not be a dude’s paradise, it can certainly seem that way to the outside world. The man is being serviced by at least three women – as mandated by Scripture whereas the Koran limits a man to four – living in the same house, he is a preacher within the church and given the right to perform his own baptisms and marriages, and his accountability is really only rewarded within the confines of his church.
Now, lets talk about the church for a few minutes. While I don’t for a minute say that all instances of polygamy are cultist, just the ones where members are expected to give up property and wages to the church for that church to dole out on a needs or position based system. Add in that the head of the church ARRANGES the marriages, taking out freedom of choice and love. These are the markings of a cult. To give up essential freedoms and means of escape are the foundation of any cult.
This is what bothers me. I advocate parents raising their children to have respect for the family’s beliefs. However, what if a sixteen-year-old girl doesn’t want to be the fifth wife of her father’s best friend? Why should she be forced into it? Because service to her father and husband is service to God? If it feels wrong, chances are it is wrong.
There are also all the women whose husbands say God told them to become polygamists. Well, what if the wife doesn’t hear the same thing? Men have abandoned their wives and families to participate in this practice. That has to be wrong on some level and I don’t mean us gentiles in the outside world. I mean within the confines of the Scriptures. I know the Bible says a woman is to be subservient to her husband. But the same Scripture says that a man is to love his wife as he loves himself. I don’t see where a man can love his wife while having sex with a second or third in the next room. One woman recounted the story of her sister who was taken as a second wife to a polygamist. The first went on the honeymoon with them and watched them have sex to diffuse her jealousy. If I watch my husband have sex with another woman, it is considered a sexual deviancy. Yet, under the guise of religious freedom, forcing the wife to watch her husband copulate with another woman regardless of her feelings is not sexual or emotional abuse. It is considered God’s will.
Again, I say if consenting adults decide to engage in this activity, it isn’t my business. But the state takes kids away from a woman or man that practices this kind of free love under the heading of being harmful to the children. So, how is it less harmful if it is found within the confines of religion? I would think this is psychologically more harmful as a nice layer of hellfire and brimstone has been added to skew the real issue. The real issue is simply sex and our attitudes toward it.
Puritanical nonsense has caused more harm than good in our society. What a consenting adult does with his or her body is their own business. It is when the age barrier is breached and children become involved or when non-consenting persons are forced to participate that the state should intervene. First amendment rights be damned in those cases. The person being subjugated has those rights as well. And Christian polygamy (as well as other polygamy) groups trample those rights by teaching the next generation to subjugate women and making sure to marry their daughters off young so that they cannot escape. This is cultist activity. Just because they tout out the Bible and Jesus doesn’t make them any less of a cult than Hari Krishnas or Moonies. Remember David Koresh? He believed that God was telling him to have sex with all those women and girls and to stockpile weapons.
And before dear readers, all three of you, get up in arms about religious freedoms and tolerance remember, polygamy is outlawed in the United States for a reason that largely relates to the tax codes. But still it is illegal. Maybe I’m too modern of a woman but to me polygamy constitutes spousal abuse whether dressed up in religion or not. In fact, couldn’t it also be considered religious abuse. I don’t know. Lets call up God and ask her.