The Bluff City Chronicle

Luchadore Clones Clean Up Downtown Crime

Wrestling fans need only tune into the local news to see a popular mat slammer's bretheren doing good for the Bluff City community. Two carjackings, a robbery, and three muggings are only a few things these stars of the ring have stopped in order to aid and protect their community. The BCC will continue to provide updates on this sensational new development.

Leprechauns Invade Downtown – Latest IRA Attack?

Downtown was in for a rude awakening early this morning. A slight tremor and soft boom echoed through the empty streets in the dawn hours, knocking dishes off of shelves and setting off car alarms. A representative at the Utilities Department insists it was only the shifting of some rock in an abandoned mine in the Wendigo Park Area.

But our recent raid on the old shaft revealed a very different story: Leprechauns. As any scholar of Bluff City history knows, several thousand Irish immigrated here from Ireland during the Great Potato Famine, looking for a new start. But they were not alone.

Inside the immigrant’s meager luggage faerie folk, known more familiarly as Leprechauns, hid. They were on a quest. A quest for the riches rumored to be buried deep in the shafts of Wendigo Bluff. Deeper than any human could reach.

Speckles of gold dust shimmered on the walls of the shaft we entered. Though it was only pyrite, Fool’s Gold, as one delved deeper and deeper into the chill of the mine, one could smell the gunpowder. Creatures lurk in the shadows still digging. But for what?

Geological studies in the area indicate the mines are played out. Anything worth having must be gone. So in that knowledge lays an ulterior motive.

Perhaps the archaic faeries have heard of the struggle of their human countrymen and are trying to raise awareness here. Perhaps the digging continues but now there is a reason for the continued raising of wealth beyond greed. Maybe the little buggers have decided to branch out into terrorism, starting in Bluff City, a place where an IRA attack would be least suspected.

This reporter is dedicated to keeping the public apprised of any changes.

Bushi Tales - Comic Review

Bushido – (Japanese) literally: way of the warrior. This was an ethical code of conduct similar to chivalry. Developed in Japan between 9th and 12th centuries.

Bushi – the warriors of New Edo.

Tales – stories.

Bushi Tales – new comic by Dave Beaty and Lin Workman chronicling the deeds and triumphs of the Bushi in31st century New Edo.

Want more info? Go to www.bushitales.com

I’m busy writing a review of Bushi Tales #1. And really, all I have to say is, “So what happens next?”

Bushi Tales #1 takes place in 31st century earth after a knock-down, drag out fight between the gods of old and the immortals which basically turned the beloved green and blue orb into a DMZ. This sets up the story, the story of the Bushido as they protect New Edo, the last habitable city on Earth.

They are Hachiman’s (Japanese god of War) warriors, most trained from infancy to protect and defend the last remnants of civilization.

Chozen, once Hachiman’s most trusted advisor, has become the enemy. Banishment to the deadlands is only the beginning. He knows the truth and his destiny is to expose it, all in due time.

And that is all in the first couple of pages. Then the action really picks up with a squad of Bushi hunting a Cyclops and his wolf companions. After a massacre ends the lives of most of the squad, the hunt continues with more vigor leading to, well, I don’t know yet. This is just the first issue.

The hard copy has a gorgeous color cover and the b&w panels inside are breathtaking. Only fine talent can tell a story in monochromatic and the shades set a desperate mood. Color copies are available for download on the website.

And there is a bonus story with illustrations, that’s right, a story with illustrations at the end. And it’s a doozy. I won’t spoil it for you. For $4, you get action, suspense, great characterizations, and conflict. Hell, a lot of more well known comics deliver much less for more money.

So go to the site, pick up a copy (or download it) and enjoy!

Mutated Viral Strand Turns Locals Into Zombies

Make sure you go to the doctor and get your flu shots this season. A new variation of the flu bug is causing catastrophic calamities. The new bug has made its way into the general populations. Isolated incidents have only been reported so far but the national medical community urges all citizens to get vaccinated as soon as possible to contain what they consider a small threat.

Or so the national health committees want us to believe. For years patients have been encouraged to get flu shots for the last 10 years and each year the suggestion gets a little stronger. Why?

Word on Internet conspiracy sights point to the use of a potent influenza strain as a biological weapon. But this reporter dug deeper for the truth. The new strain, identified only as Z-B5, is a mutation of the flu virus with unknown origins. One thing has been confirmed, the outcome. Sufferers of this non-lethal but still very dangerous drug turn into zombies.

That’s right, zombies, those walking shells of loved ones controlled by a hidden master to be used as mindless slaves. Only, who is the master? Some conspiracies point to government involvement. I would agree but such blatant disregard for public safety seems just a tad too irresponsible.

No. I say this conspiracy lies in the region of the supernatural bloodsuckers, those vampires that have wormed their way into every facet of existence. This reporter intends to keep a close eye on those malevolent undead fiends whose violent rise to power started in the criminal underworld and stretched tentacles into legitimate enterprise as well.