In an exciting twist of events, a local man found himself on the wrong end of the carving knife Thanksgiving Day. His family insists that a snafu with the electric carver caused the man to seek medical attention. The hospital treated the man for extensive injuries around the face and neck before releasing him.
“The knife hit the bone and kicked back into Bob’s face,” a relative stated to the local news. “Kind of like a chainsaw hitting a knot in the wood.”
When questioned how a one-sided blade could fly up and damage the wounded man, the family had no further comment. As anyone who has used an electric knife knows, the serrated blade faces away from the carver to prevent such an injury. A chainsaw, with its looping teeth and chain, has no such built in protection.
However, an eyewitness told this reporter that the deep fried carcass stood up on his drumsticks and kicked the buzzing device into the man’s face. The witness wishes to remain anonymous in deference to the family and possible further persecution to her winged race. Only adding, "I thought humans were supposed to be smarter than that."
The Chronicle is dedicated to the safety and welfare of all of its readers and will keep the public informed of any other life-threatening situations.